Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Taking A Break (Update)

Thanks so much for all the support this morning. Things did not go well this morning so while I pull myself together and continue to figure out next steps I will be taking a big of a break from my blog.

It's very discouraging when you have a doctor tell you that you are broken without even looking at your records and trying to come up with a plan of action. He does not do iui or ivf which is fine but he just didn't seem interested in helping in any way. I suggested going back on clomid or something and he just shrugged it off.

I ended up bawling back in my PCM's office and he was appalled at what happened. He put in a referral for me to be seen at an RE clinic off post. It may not get approved right away but I have my fingers crossed.

66 comments:

  1. Hugs! If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Jen. I'm crushed for you and sending web hugs your way. I will be thinking about you!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You can handle this! I am here if you wanna chat, and please don't get down on yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so sorry to hear this, hope you're doing ok, I'm thinking of you xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh no! I hope you are alright. Prayers and hugs, I hope you come back soon! :(

    ReplyDelete
  6. So sad to hear about the way you were treated -- saying a prayer for you, lady!

    ReplyDelete
  7. If you were seeing a military RE I can't say I'm surprised. I am sorry though. I see a military RE and I'm wishing I could see someone off post but soon I'll be doing just that for the donor eggs. Hoping that your next RE is much better than this one.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so sorry it didn't go well! :( Praying your next doctor is THE one!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aw, Jen...thinking of you warmly, I'm sorry it was a bad visit.

    Keeping fingers and toes crossed you get your approval too, at least he gave you that and it could be all the difference you need.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So sorry things did not go as you were hoping this morning. Will be thinking of you and praying your referral goes through sooner rather than later and you can at least have a plan of action you feel comfortable with. Take as long as you need, we'll all be waiting here when you feel ready to come back :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. This might be a silly question, but if the RE doesn't do IUIs or IVF, what does he do?? I don't know all the rules behind seeing a doc on or off post, but I hope the referral gets approved soon and you are able to go to another RE who is more open to different treatment plans and willing to help you. Don't these doctors realize if you are having to step in their office in the first place, you are probably already in a vulnerable emotional state and they need to be compassionate? So sorry it didn't go as you had hoped. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An RE usually diagnoses and treats hormonal issues that influence the reproductive cycle, such as hypo- or hyperthyroidism, certain forms of diabetes, etc. They don't necessarily need to do IUI or IVF, since oftentimes the hormone therapy will take care of the infertility issues (suffering from Hashimoto Hypothyroidism myself).

      Delete
    2. Oh I know. He just did not seem interested in deciding on any kind of hormonal therapy or anything.

      Delete
    3. Have you ever gotten a diagnosis? Seriously, When I went into the PCM's office, he wasn't interested at all, either. He sent me on my way with a Zoloft prescription and an appointment two weeks later to see how well I'm doing on his rat poison. I never took the meds; he got quite mad with me, claiming that he couldn't help me if I refused his treatment. I almost had to bully him into doing the blood test for thyroid disorders, even though I have a family history of hypothyroidism. If your thyroid has never been checked out, maybe your PCM can order the tests. Should that be the problem, it might be such an easy fix... Keep sending you baby-dust and all the best!!

      Cheers, Stephanie

      Delete
    4. I have had every possible blood test to determine the problem but it's ruled as unexplained infertility. My thyroid has never been the problem. Just very frustrating. Thanks Stephanie! :)

      Delete
    5. That's probably the worst, not knowing what's wrong. I'm so sorry, Jen! I just remember that back then, the PCM ruled out thyroid issues by looking at me and determining that I was not over-weight and therefore could not have a thyroid issue.

      The other day when I walked home from the bus and I thought about you, something I've read a long time ago came to my mind. This may sound completely stupid now, and I don't know if it comforts you in any way, I hope it's not offending. In the Buddhist faith, they say that if a soul leaves the body and enters the world of spirits, it goes on a journey to find its next life. And once it has found its new family, it will enter the body of the woman and they will conceive a baby. Maybe, just maybe, the soul that is going to be your baby is not ready yet. (told you it's stupid)

      Keep the hope up!! Stephanie

      Delete
  12. Oh, big big big hugs!!!! You take as much time as you need to mourn and be depressed and get yourself back in a happy place. And I'm so sorry you had to deal with such a jerk of a doctor:( I try to look at the positive (eternal optimist here) so never said anything, but from my experience the medical arena in El Paso is awful. (both on and off post) From doctors with no bedside manner, to everything being a few years behind the curve, to just plain inconsiderate people. But I hope the next RE is better and proves me wrong and will actually LISTEN (the hardest thing I've had to deal with). And give that wonderful husband of yours and your fur babies lots of hugs and snuggles. Praying for you!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm so sorry to hear about the news Jen. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh no :( That darn doctor!! I'm praying for you. I understand your need to take a break from the blog. I'll be here if you need to chat <3

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jen, I'm so sorry to hear how badly it went with the doc this morning. I know how much you were looking forward to it! Hopefully this will help you in being able to find the right doctor to help you guys out. Thinking about ya! Anissa

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh I am so sorry this is happening. I sincerely hope that you are able to get with a doctor who will do everything possible to help your family. I'll be thinking about you

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh jen...I'm so sorry. Stay strong. Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  18. I am so sorry to hear this! I hope the referral is approved quickly and the civilian RE is more helpful.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh no!!! I'm praying for you!!! I can't imagine the doctor's unprofessional behavior towards you- thinking about it makes me sick! Hopefully the off-post RE will be better!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Jen:

    I have stumbled upon your blog by accident, and couldn't stop reading your story. Even though you are going through a very rough phase right now with a horrible, horrible doctor, please don't give up. You will be a mother, and a very good one at that! An RE is usually only diagnosing reproductive issues that are caused by hormones and treat them. I am suffering from Hashimoto's thyroidism, which should have left me infertile if unmedicated. I conceived while the hypothyroidism wasn't even diagnosed yet. When they finally had my blood count, a doctor told me that I should not even be pregnant and that I shouldn't keep my hopes up of having a healthy baby. Today, I have two. I conceived twice while not on medication. I have heard similar stories; only last year, after 6 years of TTC and several failed cycles of IVF, friends of ours suddenly found out that they were 5 months pregnant and now have a healthy daughter that should never have been born. I have experienced only the tiniest bit of your heart-break myself, but please, please don't give up! I am so happy for you that you have such a wonderful PCM. All mine wanted to do back when I was sitting in his office bawling was putting me on Zoloft. I am sending much strength and all the baby-dust I can give your way! Believe me, you will be a mom, no matter what!

    Love, Stephanie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephanie- Thank you for finding my blog and taking the time to read my story. Your words mean so much to me and I appreciate them greatly. Hugs to you!

      Delete
  21. Oh, sweet Jen, my heart goes out to you. Believe me when I say, I know what you are going through. I pray that God gives you strength and peace that passes understanding. You are not broken, sweet child of God. A wonderful woman at church told me once that there is no woman in the bible, not one, who desired and prayed for children that was not blessed with children. Not one. Wombs were open. Be encouraged by that! He has placed all things under our feet!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brittany- Thank you so much for this! I appreciate everything you said and I know it to be true. Hugs my sweet friend!

      Delete
  22. Oh no! I am sorry to hear this. Sometimes I think all doctor's what is money and have no interest in helping a patient. Keep your chin up and smile. Things have a way of working themselves out.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thinking of you Jen!!!!! I am hear if you need to vent. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am so sorry, Jen. Of course, take all of the time you need. I am so sorry things are going rather rough for you in this area. I'll be thinking about you guys.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hugs Hun. I'm thinking of and praying for you

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ask for a new doctor. He shouldn't be treating you that way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Once the referral gets approved, thankfully I will have a new doctor.:)

      Delete
  27. Aww Im sorry! :/
    I really do hope that everything works out for you...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Aww! I sorry to hear this! I hope your next doctor is so much better!

    ReplyDelete
  29. You definitely deserve better. You need an compassionate RE with at least an ounce of humanity, and I really hope that's who you get to see with your referral. And I hope the referral goes through quickly for you.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm so sorry that doctor was such a disrespectful asshat. Forget that guy. I hope your referral is approved SOON! I know I've told you this before, but don't lose heart. One of my best friends TTC for 7 years to no avail (only one pregnancy during that time, which resulted in a miscarriage). After 7 years of heartbreak, they were put on a waiting list for IVF. Within DAYS of getting on the waiting list, she conceived naturally with absolutely no interventions! She now has a beautiful 14 month-old daughter! It can and WILL happen for you. THIS IS YOUR YEAR. Keep your chin up and write an ICE complaint for that idiot doctor.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I have been there so if you want to talk to someone just shoot me an email. Praying you find someone better.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh girl ... with everything you have gone through. That's terrible and I feel like coming down there and kicking some ass!
    That's horrible.

    You are NOT broken and don't even think it!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    www.raising-reagan.com

    ReplyDelete
  33. I am SO sorry!! Hope things look up very soon!

    ReplyDelete
  34. I wish I could scoop you up and bring you to Fort Bragg. Dr. Parker, Natalie, and Dori are amazing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually saw Dr. P for 2 1/2 years and loved him.

      Delete
  35. Oh goodness Jen. :( I am so sorry things happened like they did today. I hope the new doc off post can really work with you and step up in a way that the doc you saw today did not. Praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I'm so sorry to hear that...continuing to pray for you!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'm so sorry that things are not working out. I applaud your ability to stay positive though! I don't know that I'd be brave enough to blog about or even talk about it. I had issues a few years ago with something and NONE of the PCMs wanted to listen. It was horrible. It took me a 18 months just to get into the Women's Health clinic (because they don't want to see you unless you're pregnant!). The military's medical system is one of the most stressful parts of this mil-life.
    While I understand your need for a blog break, I hope you stick around blogland and Twitter :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. I hope things get better. Thinking about you!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I'm so sorry my friend. I've encountered doctors who have told me they can't fix me which was heartbreaking but the doctors I've seen since then have been great. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Thinking of you. Hugs. <3

    ReplyDelete
  40. Jen, it breaks my heart to read this. Shame on that idiot doctor for being so insensitive and not even trying. I will miss you while you take a break, but know that I will still think of you and pray for you and your family. Hopefully you will be approved to see this other doctor ASAP! Sending you love and prayers today.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Jen, I'm so sorry to hear that. I cannot believe that doctor would be so careless and rude with something so important to you. Take as much time as you need on your blog break, just please make sure to come back! Missing you already

    ReplyDelete
  42. Sweet friend! I am so sorry to hear that!! Thankfully it sounds like you have a great PCM who has your back. In my experience, our referrals have only taken a couple weeks. I hope yours is just as quick. Prayers for you guys and future little ones. Hope to hear back from you soon, and hopefully with good news!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Dear Jen, Take care of yourself and your family. You will be in my prayers. I know God will take you through this tough time. He's taken care of me too.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I am so, so sorry you were so mistreated. What a horrible person. When you feel up to it, I strongly suggest calling and telling patient advocacy what happened. This is unacceptable behavior. I hope the referral comes through quickly and you get a much better doctor. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Please don´t give up hope! He sounds like and awful RE doctor!! Fingers crossed it won´t take long for the referral to come through!

    ReplyDelete

Love hearing from you!! :)