Friday, July 28, 2017

Don't Focus On A Number

After E was born I remember writing a post that talked about envying those who were able to bounce back quickly after having a baby. Which let me say, to all those who did, you are amazing!!! While it's amazing carrying a life it has a tremendous impact both physically and mentally. 

When I got pregnant, I was at my lowest weight which I think was around 115 pounds. When I gave birth to E I was 173 pounds. Yes, you read that correctly. I gained almost 60 pounds. I remember being nervous every time I went to the doctor that I was going to get yelled at for weight gain, but I never did. Baby was healthy, I was healthy, and I was measuring just fine. I didn't eat terribly and I still worked out but the weight still came.

When I got cleared to work out at 6 weeks, I was relieved. My focus immediately went to losing the weight and I stupidly went to put on pre-pregnancy clothes. I had seen a friend who had a baby a few months before me have no problem fitting into her pre pregnancy clothes, so I thought I could. I immediately lost it and started crying. I struggled with that for a while, I wanted to bounce back quickly. I stressed myself out because I was focused on that and in doing so I started stress eating. Horrible combination.

I soon realized that my body just isn't like that and it's okay. Some are lucky enough to do the bare minimum and have the weight fall off while some have to work a little harder. It's okay either way. At the end of the day being happy with who you are is far more important. My goal was to be happy with myself, there wasn't a specific number I had in mind. I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin again and I wanted to be an example to E. I chose to not kill myself to get where I wanted to be. I went through this before with weight gain after fertility treatments. It was rough.

I share this side by side not to show weight loss but to explain to you what I see. On the left I was 2 months postpartum and I was miserable. I was so down on myself and disappointed that I hadn't "bounced back".

On the right is a photo from last week. I see someone who is happy! Happy with who she is and finally comfortable in her own skin again. Am I at the weight that I wanted to be after I gave birth? Absolutely not, but it's okay. I'm a work in progress. I have stretch marks, flabby skin, and a beautiful daughter who gave me all that. :)


It has taken me almost 11 months to get to that point. But if it had taken me more time than that's okay.

You see, feeling good about yourself does not have to focus on a number. It should focus on mind, body, and spirit. We live in a society where image is everything, it shouldn't be that way.
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Being comfortable in your own skin and having confidence in yourself is all that matters.

29 comments:

  1. Out all the photos you shared (I think I found your page when your daughter was just born) I never saw you as fat,not even close, so don't worry about it.

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    1. I appreciate it, Adam! Thank you!

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  2. That's the one thing that I dread every time that I go to the doctor now too, how much weight that I'm actually gaining! I know that I'm going to be stressed about immediately getting back to the weight that I was before I got pregnant, but I just have a feeling that it's not going to happen for me. But I love what you said about focusing on being happy with yourself, and I'll definitely try and do that!

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  3. I'm so glad several bloggers I know have been writing about this lately, you included. I'm only 3.5 weeks postpartum but I honestly didn't expect that I would have only lost 15 lbs (out of 45) so far. Everyone says if you breastfeed the weight will just "melt right off!" But that hasn't been true for me so far. I'm trying so hard not to stress about it and it helps so much to look at my beautiful daughter because I'd do it all over again for her...but I also can't wait until my 6 week pp check up so I can start working out again.

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  4. Such an important message! It takes 9 months to gain the weight, it takes that and then some to lose it!

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  5. You look great!! So glad that you are enjoying life and feel better! I have a friend who had a baby 4 months ago and gained 50 pounds. I never would have guessed it, but she was definitely down about not losing all of the weight yet. I couldn't agree with you more about keeping a healthy body and being a great role model to your daughter! She was so worth it! Love yourself!!

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  6. I think this is so important. I know I am hard on myself as well for gaining weight especially when I look at old pictures or try to fit into old clothes. I think what helped me the most is saying to myself, "would you let your friend say these things about herself if she gained weight?" Putting myself in a third person view helped me see that nobody is perfect and that if I had a friend like me I would be supportive and never talk badly to her.

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    1. I love this perspective and it's so true. We are so hard on ourselves but we give grace to others.

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  7. You are so inspiring and I am so glad to call you my friend <3

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  8. Jen, you look beautiful at any weight. I know all the feelings you describe. We are so much harder on ourselves than we are on others. I'm glad you are reclaiming your "happy" size. :)

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    1. I appreciate it so very much!!! <3

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  9. Yep, and I know for a fact you wouldn't trade what you do have for anything!!! You're a lucky family, and you look great (in both pictures). Good message to share!

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  10. I love this outlook. Loving a postpartum body is so hard, it did something amazing and then it looks all crazy. But I love how you're still setting a good example for E with all the running you guys do

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  11. I'm glad you're in a good place mentally in regards to your body. But looking at your pics, you have definitely lost all your baby weight!! You're tiny! I've definitely struggled with my weight gain after my surgery and I still haven't managed to lose the weight. HA. Oh well! Life is too short to be worried all the time about weight! ;)

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  12. Great message in this post. I wish every post part mum could read this!

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  13. I agree. I understand the mind set because I've been there. It's so important to focus on health above losing weight. Great post!

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  14. I love this post! I will admit - gaining weight during pregnancy scares me. I love your positive outlook and the body positive example you're setting for E! You look AMAZING then and now, so be proud of all your body has done :) XO

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  15. “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow!" --one of my favorite quotes. You look great by the way :)

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    1. This is amazing!! Thank you for this!

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  16. I so agree with this! I'm at the point where so long as I fit into my pants, I'm cool. I don't even step on the scale anymore. If my pants start to feel tight, I start to watch what I eat and jog more.

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    1. I love this!! Living life is more important than a number.

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  17. I love this and thank you for sharing. I an still trying to get back to where I was before Eve's pregnancy fitness wise. Not having a scale around has helped that because I look for non scale victories. I ran further today in less time. That's the stuff I want to focus on. No the number on the scale. Great reminder!

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  18. You're a rockstar! I haven't gone through that exactly, but I do know how it feels when you're overweight and just not comfortable in your own skin, and that's a terrible feeling. You are amazing for giving yourself a break, working your butt off, and getting to this happy healthy point where you're on serious rockstar status.

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  19. I am so impressed with people who actually have to work hard to lose weight - and then do it. Once I gain weight I have an incredibly hard time shifting it, so it basically doesn't happen. Because I like cake too much. I am my own worst enemy! You however have done an amazing job. You should be so proud!

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Love hearing from you!! :)