Monday, July 24, 2017

Disconnecting and Reconnecting

One of my biggest goals for this move was to step outside of my comfort zone and become more social. When we were at Polk we purposely stayed to ourselves and stayed low key. We had a handful of friends but we rarely made it a regular thing to hang out with friends. Now some of you may be thinking how silly that is. Believe me I understand. 

Let me explain why we did this. When we were at Bliss and Kyle was a company commander it was nonstop social interaction. Between interactions with soldiers in the company and FRG responsibilities for me it was people overload and it was exhausting after a while. Not only was I company FRG leader but I was a Battalion Senior Advisor (meaning I was coordinating events for 600-700 soldiers and their families). There was never a day that I was by myself, don't get me wrong I loved it but it was exhausting. I'm not the most outgoing person so it took a lot for me to step outside of my comfort zone. We also had several friends that we hung out with because we knew them from previous posts. 

Now don't get me wrong we do not take our friendships for granted but there comes a time when you need to decompress. When I found out that there was going to be no FRG at Polk, I knew that was a sign for us to just recuperate. I was exhausted, I was drained from the constant on the go that I was used to and I needed to just focus on myself, my family, and school. We had 1-2 friends that we saw on occasion but we were happier just shutting in on the weekends and doing nothing (well minus doing races). It was a much needed 2 1/2 years of very limited social interaction, I was able to just enjoy the time and not have any responsibilities that went outside of the home. 

Before we arrived in Kansas we made the promise to each other to be more social. To actively engage with people and to go beyond our comfort zones. We have a large group of friends here, but the best part is that I have my group of friends, Kyle has his, and then we are all able to come together as a group. It's an awesome balance. We are more social with our neighbors as well, we find ourselves sitting outside most nights talking with neighbors and letting the kids play. Now that I am part of the Stroller Strong Moms group I have been able to expand my interactions and meet friends that way, I plan on volunteering in some capacity on post, and I also have those who we get together with for playdates. E is also becoming social, she is playing with other kids and I love that.

I know that I would not be able to do these type of things had I not taken the break that I did. I needed the chance to focus on other things. For the first time in a long time I feel rejuvenated and ready to make this an amazing year. There is no shame in shutting yourself in and disconnecting for a while. Honestly, it could be the best thing you ever do. 


20 comments:

  1. That's so awesome!! Sounds like Kansas is great for you guys!

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    1. It really is. We are really happy here but also anxious to find out what's next.

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  2. I never do well in social circles.

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    1. I used to be that one, the Army lifestyle has been able to pull me out of my shell.

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  3. I 100% agree with you about sometimes just needing some time to not be social! As much as we love hanging out with our friends, sometimes we just need a weekend to be at home by ourselves and just be. I'm glad that y'all are enjoying hanging out with your friends at the new base though!

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  4. Good for you! Plus, it's the best time to start reconnecting since E is a little older and can find friends, too!

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  5. So true! Sometimes you need to take a step back and focus on you. Love that you found stroller strong and that you each have your separate time and together time!

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  6. I bet the break was really good for you since now you have a kid who'll probably want to be involved in play dates and play groups! Lol. Lots of potential there for being social!

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    1. Exactly!!! We both needed that time to just recover (not so much Kyle since he went right back into a really hectic job).

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  7. I think the base you're at has everything to do with this...just in general, some are more social than others. Where you live (we're always off base) is a big factor here. We didn't make friends easily here and my social circle is coworkers just because we live far from base.
    It's a nice change of pace every few years to change up your experience.
    I cannot imagine being the senior advisor :(

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  8. I'm kind of there now. We're at a post where there isn't much to do and 75% of the year it's too cold to exist. So Josh and I are focusing on getting out of debt and decluttering. This means I'm working a lot (so I still get my fair share of interaction there) and spending a lot of time doing tedious things around the house. But it works for us here and when we get to our next duty station we'll have more time and money to explore.

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  9. Andy and I were talking about a similar topic just yesterday! We're both introverts -- he more than me-- and know that he's going to so tired of talking to people and doing things. But at the same time, we both need to be involved in the community and want to make friends here since we didn't really have a lot at Knox. I think we're going to just get involved in maybe 1 activity outside of church but make sure to schedule down time into our schedules.

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  10. That's great! Neighbors that you can hang out with like that are the best!

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  11. That is so true! Taking time to recoup and rest after such a hectic period is necessary and healthy. Focusing on yourself and your family never goes out of style. True friends understand this and support it.

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    1. I absolutely agree! It's necessary to just take a break.

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  12. Holy smokes! I would definitely need that time off after all that at your previous duty station!! I love being busy but I also love having the time to just sit on my a$$ and do sweet nothing if thats what I want to do! It's definitely about balance so I hope you guys can find that in Kansas!!

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  13. It sounds like you were super busy at Bliss! As a fellow introvert I can only imagine the time off you'd need after that.

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  14. That is awesome that you recognize that in yourself. A break is never a bad thing especially after being super busy.

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  15. Being social is so hard for us. We have yet to meet our neighbors and Hubs' unit doesn't have many people our age. It sucks.

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  16. This sounds great! We're trying to be better about making friends and doing stuff here.

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Love hearing from you!! :)