Something has been on my heart lately and I felt it was necessary to write it down.
As of late I have seen some pretty nasty interactions between military spouses on FB pages. While I know it's not beneficial to put too much stock in these pages, I tend to stay on them because I legitimately enjoy interacting with fellow spouses. I think a lot of great conversations have come up and it's great to see everyone helping each other with something from finding a good Vet in the area to offering help with figuring out insurance.
However, lately it just seems to be getting very dark. I have seen new spouses asking questions that may have been worded awkwardly and get ripped to shreds by others. These new spouses are being made to feel like they are a "dependa" (for the record I ABSOLUTELY hate this term, but it is used in the military community, I find it degrading) because they are asking questions that some find silly. Have I disagreed with someone, absolutely, but I have done so in a respectful way, and if I felt that I couldn't then I would not say anything. We live in a time now where social media has made it easy for people to sit behind a computer and spew hateful things without worrying about how it hurts others.
When Kyle and I got married 8 1/2 years ago had I been treated like some of the women have been lately, I would want nothing to do with this community. I'm not saying that we as spouses need to be coddled but I am saying that being nasty is not necessary. The sad thing is this type of behavior is not just towards new spouses it runs the through the most senior of spouses as well. I just don't understand the need to be angry and hurtful. I wish some would stop and think for a second that words actually do hurt.
We all have come into this life with our own set of challenges and all we are looking for is friendship and common ground. I am grateful for the friendships that I have made in this life and I am thankful for the support without judgment.
It does not cost anything to be nice and it should be something that we all strive for.
