My Thoughts

See this trail right here?! This is the trail I go to when I need to clear my head and knock out marathon training miles. It's so calming.

As I was running on Tuesday, I realized that I am only 5 1/2 weeks away from running my 2nd marathon (Rock n Roll New Orleans, woo!) and the panic/excitement began to set in. Then the doubt began to creep in as well. I have had several people tell me that I am crazy for attempting this with having had a baby only 5 months prior to the race. I have thought to myself, am I biting off more than I can chew? Am I not giving myself enough time to truly recover? 

But then I realized that I don't NEED to run this race, I WANT to. I want to challenge myself, I want to know that I have trained enough to make it to the finish line. Of course anything can happen on race day and no matter what happens I will walk away with a sense of pride not only for that day but for the journey that has gotten me to that point. 

Another thing that has been creeping into my mind is jealousy. Jealousy of those women who had babies around the same time that I did and who are already back in their pre-pregnancy clothes. I know that sounds petty but I've had moments where I think gosh what am I doing wrong. Then I realize that I'm not doing anything wrong, my body has changed. I also feel that society places unfair expectations on women to look a certain way and to bounce back from pregnancy the next day. I housed and grew a human for 9 months, my body will never be the same. I will carry weight differently and my hips are wider, but I have to remember that how I see myself is more important than how others see me. I have started focusing on being strong/fit versus being thin. I know this is all a mental thing for me and I am focusing on me rather than worrying about others,  it's all a work in progress. :)

I am stronger than I give myself credit for and I'll keep pushing forward accomplishing things that others think I can't.

Have a great day!