Many of you who have followed my blog for some time know the struggles that we have faced trying to have a baby. I normally try to stay positive but lately I have been very down about it. Since Kyle and I got married in 2008 we were anxious to start a family and so excited when we got pregnant in April 09, when we lost that baby at 6 weeks we were devastated. We never gave up hope and I became pregnant in July, we lost that baby at 10 weeks. Another pregnancy in October would end in miscarriage at 5 weeks.
We had no idea where to turn and then we found Dr. Parker. We tried several rounds of clomid and 2 IUI's cycles. Finally in April 2012, our 3rd IUI was successful! We were over the moon excited and felt that this was meant to be. 1 week later I was in the ER in the midst of our 4th miscarriage.
I have never felt so useless and sad. I see so many of my friends announcing their pregnancies (and yes I am happy for them) it does make me sad, angry and a little jealous. We finally decided to just let things happen the way they are supposed to. We stopped all fertility treatments when we moved to Arizona and are hoping that it will happen naturally.
There is nothing I want more in this world than to have a baby and to make Kyle a Dad. Sorry if this post is depressing I just needed to get this out and vent.
To our 4 Angel Babies: We wanted you all so badly, we love you so much and wish we had gotten to know you.
To our 4 Angel Babies: We wanted you all so badly, we love you so much and wish we had gotten to know you.
There is another lady who is an Army wife going through the same thing. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your struggle. Sending positive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteOh Jen... I'm so so sorry. I know there is nothing I can say to make it better, but please know that I think of you and this situation often! I pray that you will get your chance at growing your family soon!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, Kyle, and your angel babies. I wish IF didn't exist. I wish you didn't have to experience loss. You and Kyle deserve to be parents! If you need to talk, you know where I am.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry :(
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry...sending lots of positive vibes your way! I know you'll be a great mama & I hope your turn happens soon :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your struggles. I'll keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few others I know going through the same thing. I know it's not always helpful, but just know you are not alone in this struggle and that we are all here to send you love and good thoughts when you are feeling down.
Hugs to you. <3
Oh this breaks my heart. I can't begin to imagine the physical toll alone that it takes on you, much less the emotional side of things. Praying for you girl!!
ReplyDeleteHugs, hon. I'm so sorry. Feel free to vent away. We love you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you've gone through all of this. I know nothing anyone can say can make it better or take away your pain, but you are NOT useless, so please don't feel that way. I really hope things work out for you soon. ♥
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry and I hope and pray you will get your precious family extended soon
ReplyDeleteI'm so so sorry. You're in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteJenn...I'm sorry to hear all of this. My heart goes out to you and your husband. Thinking of you guys and praying that you'll be blessed with a little one soon!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have been wanting the same thing for the past year. I stopped all birth control well over a year ago. I kept getting disappointed when nothing was happening. On May 1st I found out I was finally pregnant only to lose that baby on May 15th. It was so hard and discouraging. We had not told a lot of people but it was still hard because being in the army people find out. The hardest part was seeing all the pregnancy announcements for people who are due around the same time I would have been. I just had to really rely on my faith in God and trust that He knew what was best for us. I know it is hard but know you have someone with you all the time!
ReplyDeleteI lost my first baby 10 weeks in.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain.
Prayers coming your way!!
I am so sorry to hear of your struggles to become pregnant. I can relate to the struggle and the feelings you must be having. My husband, Kyle, and I have also been trying since we got married in 2009. We've been through 2 years of fertility treatments including clomid, IUI, and IVF. We finally quit 'trying' we still have not conceived. I guess what I'm trying to get at is - it is perfectly normal and healthy to vent and get that frustration out! I am so sorry for your disappointments and angel babies. Sending hugs and I hope one day you get your miracle!
ReplyDeleteI'm praying that one day SOON you'll have a little bundle of your own! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm just reading this now. I'm so sorry it's been so rough lately. The pain, anger and jealousy are totally understandable. It's hell to have just a single miscarriage and after having several of my own, I know how empty it can leave you. I wish I had words that could heal the pain but I don't think there are any. Being in that situation just sucks. It rips your heart out and then makes you feel guilty for being jealous or angry when it's the most natural thing to feel jealous and angry...even bitter. I'll be praying for strength and peace while you grieve and wait for a miracle of your own.
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