Sad

Many of you who have followed my blog for some time know the struggles that we have faced trying to have a baby. I normally try to stay positive but lately I have been very down about it. Since Kyle and I got married in 2008 we were anxious to start a family and so excited when we got pregnant in April 09, when we lost that baby at 6 weeks we were devastated. We never gave up hope and I became pregnant in July, we lost that baby at 10 weeks. Another pregnancy in October would end in miscarriage at 5 weeks. 

We had no idea where to turn and then we found Dr. Parker. We tried several rounds of clomid and 2 IUI's cycles. Finally in April 2012, our 3rd IUI was successful! We were over the moon excited and felt that this was meant to be. 1 week later I was in the ER in the midst of our 4th miscarriage. 

I have never felt so useless and sad. I see so many of my friends announcing their pregnancies (and yes I am happy for them) it does make me sad, angry and a little jealous. We finally decided to just let things happen the way they are supposed to. We stopped all fertility treatments when we moved to Arizona and are hoping that it will happen naturally. 

There is nothing I want more in this world than to have a baby and to make Kyle a Dad. Sorry if this post is depressing I just needed to get this out and vent.


To our 4 Angel Babies: We wanted you all so badly, we love you so much and wish we had gotten to know you.