Before I got pregnant with E, I knew there were such things as "mommy wars". It wasn't until she was born that I truly understood what that means. I have been blown away by the meanness that comes along with this.
As parents we are tasked with a unique responsibility of taking care of, nurturing, and molding these sweet babies into well-rounded and functioning members of society. The job is hard enough without adding in the constant criticism from others who are in the same boat. I had no idea just how mean and catty some parents could be and mostly about what would seem like a small thing. I have seen some of the most eye-opening behavior from mothers and while I am not perfect, it blows me away when some will blatantly call out others and tell them what they are doing is wrong.
On multiple occasions I have been asked if Emmy sleeps through the night and every time I have answered honestly (albeit a little hesitant to do so) with a resounding yes and have gotten the same response, "don't tell that to other mothers!". I constantly wonder why, why should I be afraid to answer a question honestly when a question is asked?! It is the most frustrating thing. I cannot help if other babies/kids do not sleep through the night, there is nothing I can do about that. I am eternally grateful that E is a good sleeper but I certainly would not wish a non-sleeping child on others. That just seems cruel. Kyle has even been told the same thing and it just blows my mind. I'm not the type that goes around and tells everyone that she sleeps all night. But you better believe that if I am asked a question, I will answer it honestly.
There are other areas that I see so much tension. The subject of vaccinations, circumcision, breastfeeding/formula feeding, and sleep training are all hot button issues that seems to bring out the worst in people especially mothers. It makes me sad because being a parent is a wonderful gift. Yes it's messy, gross, stressful, frustrating, and sometimes angering but to me it will always be worth it. There has to come a time when parents realize that we are all in the same boat. Putting others down for what they may or may not be doing does not help anything. What other parents do is their business, it has nothing to do with me. I've seen friends of mine ask for advice on parenting sites and they have gotten ripped apart for no reason. It's awful.
I wish all parents could take a step back for a second and realize that we all are doing the best that we can and while it may not be perfect as long as the kids are happy and healthy that's all that matters. We often times put too much stress on ourselves to be perfect and everyone suffers when that happens. I obviously haven't been a parent for very long but in these few short 5 months I have realized a lot. At the end of the day what works for some may not work for others and that's okay!
Being a parent is difficult enough without trying to compete with other parents.