Friday, April 10, 2015

What I Have Learned

Kyle is coming up on 8 years in the Army and even though I have only been part of it for 7 I feel like I have more experience than I know what to do with. 

I have learned:

*You have to be somewhat independent. There are times when your spouse is not around and you have to take the initiative and get stuff done. This can be anything from financial decisions to car maintenance. 

*You cannot expect to get along with everyone. There will be people in this life that you come in contact with that you just do not click with. It happens but the great thing is you get to start over in new places. 

*This life is exhausting...the moving, setting up a new house, finding a new dentist, meeting new people, etc. It doesn't really get easier you just get better at dealing with it.

*You WILL want a break from all things military and that's okay. Hopefully your spouse does not hold that against you since you are not the one who signed on the dotted line. 

*When unexpected things happen do not flip out on your spouse, most likely they had no control over it either. This Army life can be crazy and getting upset does not really solve anything.

*You don't have to lose yourself in this life...you can still have a very strong sense of self and be productive. 

*You will meet people that will not only be friends but they will become family. Do not let those friendships go even if a PCS happens.

*Find something that you enjoy, whether that be a sport, school, volunteering, or working. It is so important to have something to focus on when training and deployments happen. 

*Don't always listen to the stereotypes! It doesn't matter if the person is married to a General or Private we are all looking for acceptance and friendship. 

*This life gives you a new appreciation for your family, you take advantage of the time you get to spend together and you will cherish it all the more.

*Be grateful for the life that you are living, not everyone gets the opportunity to see the world and experience new things.

*Support and love each other no matter what!

I am not saying that this life is easy but there are ways to make it less stressful.

This guy makes it all worth it for me.


Have a great weekend!

25 comments:

  1. Yes. Truth!!! I agree 100% on all points.

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  2. I always enjoy hearing your side of things and understand a bit more what the military life can be like on a daily basis.

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  3. Awww your last sentence about Kyle is so cute. Happy Friday friend!

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  4. I would add: don't expect to spend a lot of time with your spouse, haha. And I agree with being independent. Now, if only I could get the @#$$^%#$@# smoke detector to stop beeping.

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  5. This is so accurate! My husband is going on three years, which seems like such a small time compared to your 8 but all of these things are so true! Happy Friday :)

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  6. Love this! I was just telling my husband last night that I'm not sure I was meant for the uncertainty this lifestyle brings. I'm a planner and it takes me so much time to adjust to altering my plans that sometimes I can't keep up with how often things change!

    I'm hoping I get better at it with time because oh my heavens is my husband worth it! Happy Friday!

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  7. Amen to all of those! Great insight!

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  8. I love love love this!!! You are spot on with everything!

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  9. I love this post! I obviously have no idea what being a wife (especially a military wife!) is like. You're the type of person I would want showing me the ropes of military life. Do you watch Army Wives? Because that is totally what this reminds me of right now.

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  10. I love these and agree with every one. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it :)

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  11. Great post and I so agree! It can be a tough life, but I love it.

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  12. Definitely point on, Jen. I was part of the military life for 5 months as a girlfriend/fiancée and 2 years as a wife. It was a unique journey that ended when Lily came into the picture and hubby decided that he wanted to watch his daughter grow up without missing longer periods of her early life, and I was quite thankful for it, even though it posed a whole different set of challenges. I am so glad that you found your place in the sometimes-craziness that's Army life :-)

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  13. All true! I've always been fiercely independent so that part is easy. I commend my husband for marrying a lawyer...I mean we suck. Lol.

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  14. You are amazing and I love everything about this post!

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  15. Great post! My husband has been in for 11 years plus his 4 years as an ROTC cadet. I've been around for 14 years of it...the lessons I have learned have been invaluable. I've had some great experiences and not-so-great ones. But the most important lesson I've learned is how important a sense of adventure and remaining flexible is to a successful life - no matter what you do! :)

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  16. The friends that become family.. We have a set from every duty station. Our first set are Adri's God parents, and we're actually vacationing with them in a few weeks. They left the military life, so we'll likely never live near them again, but they are definitely our best friends. Great post!

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  17. So much truth here! This is a different life...but it is what you make of it. I never thought we would still be doing this, but 10 years and here we are. I have no idea if it will be for another 2, 3, 5, or 10, but I have definitely learned a lot about myself through it all!

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  18. Love this post! Seriously the best a mil spouse can do is make the best out of the situation handed to them. Friends may not come easy, but if you try and have a life of your own it isn't so bad.

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  19. Awesome advice! Although it applies to the military, I think these points apply to life in general as well! Great insight :)

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  20. I've always maintained that it takes a special person to be a military spouse and your list confirms it. Go you!!!!

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  21. Such good advice, Jen! My father was in the Navy so I grew up in the military lifestyle (I attended three different high schools in four years, for example). Then I married a man who, although not in the military, has a job that has kept him away for weeks at a time and required regular moves. Life is settling down for us, but these tips all still ring true. Well said, my friend.

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  22. Amen, amen, AMEN!! Honestly, his deployment was the first time in my life that I was fully independent. No family, a younger group of friends that were better at being supported than supporting, living alone for the first time, and having the desire to be strong for him allowed me to become more independent than I ever knew I could!

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  23. It's nice to be reminded of all the positive things. Thanks Jen.

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Love hearing from you!! :)