When this day rolls around I always hope that the pain will get a little easier to deal with, that is just not the case. On this day 5 years ago my beautiful Mom lost her brave and courageous battle with cancer.
I try to be strong because I know that is what she would want but I find myself just wanting to curl up and wish this day away. I honestly think with each passing year that it gets harder to deal with and now that we are expecting Emersyn the pain is much stronger. I wish she was here to watch her grandkids grow up.
I miss her laugh, smile, sense of humor, kindness, and her ability to make everyone around her smile. She was truly a unique person and there is no one else like her.
I miss you, Mom and I hope that you know how much I love you and miss you. I hope you are looking down and smiling at everything that your kids and husband have accomplished since you left us.
I wish you were still here.
I'm just so sorry, friend. I hope writing all of this out is a form of comfort for you. I can't even pretend to understand what it's like to lose your mom to cancer, but my mom lost HER mom to cancer when she was 23, and I've grown up seeing how painful it's been for her to raise her children while wishing her own mom was there. I've always felt like I knew my grandmother anyway because of how often my mom talks about her and shares pictures, and I know Emersyn will feel that way too!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I know it hurts and I can only imagine how you feel now with the baby on the way. I remember when I had the baby the feelings of my Grandmother not being here to meet my daughter. It still kills me to this day and we are actually coming up on the anniversary of her death so I can really relate to how you are feeling.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you today, friend <3
ReplyDeleteLove and prayers to you, dear friend. I can't imagine what you deal with on a daily basis, but please know you are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteOh Jen, lots of love and hugs to you and sweet baby Emersyn. I can't imagine what it's like to lose your mom, but I do know how painful anniversaries like this can be. Take it one step at a time and do whatever makes you feel better.
ReplyDeleteOh Jen, I'm so sorry. Many thoughts and prayers your way. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteSo sorry girl. Military Husband's dad died a few days before our anniversary with cancer. Totally stunk.
ReplyDeleteSending lots of love and prayers to you. <3
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and love your way <3
ReplyDeleteI know this feeling, but for me it's with my gran. I miss her all of the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I have nothing to say that will help because nothing helps. However, I can say that I'm glad you had such a wonderful mother and I think you look quite a bit like her :) I'm dreading the first anniversary of my Dad's passing (not to speak of all the others), and if we ever have children I think I will find that really hard.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine the pain you feel, but sending you hugs and lots of love your way... xx
ReplyDeleteI can't say that I know exactly what you're going through, but I'm noticing too how hard the "big" milestones in life are when loved ones aren't there. This year, my 24th birthday will be the 10th anniversary of Papaw passing away and it's so much harder this year than I anticipated, partly because it's a decade of him not being here but also with my wedding coming up.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine loosing my mom. I hope one day it's gets easier but your mom is always you mom and it'll probably hurt forever. Sending you big hugs!
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs!
ReplyDelete