1 Year Ago Today

1 year ago today was the most devastating day of my life. I lost my beautiful mom, Kathy, to cancer. I never thought that I would be in my mid-twenties and not have a mom. She was the most amazing wife, mother, grandma and friend. She did everything for others and always put herself last. She never did anything to get something in return she genuinely loved helping and providing for others. Over the last year I have missed everything about her. I can't believe it has been 365 days since I last heard her voice. 

I know that she is no longer suffering and I am very thankful for that but it does not ease the pain that I or my family feels. We would give anything to have her back here with us. I think the hardest part for me is that she will never see my children. She wanted so much for us to have an easy time having children and it breaks my heart that my kids will never know their amazing grandma. I will do the best that I can to tell them all the wonderful things about her. 

Although she was cremated and will not be buried until my Dad passes away (so they can be buried together) we had a tree planted in a local park for her with a plaque underneath. I had flowers sent to my sister to place at her tree tomorrow morning since I cannot be there to do it myself. 

I was trying to think to think of something to do today to honor her. Kyle and I decided that we wanted to go to the NC Zoo. She was a big kid at heart and absolutely loved going to the zoo. It will be something fun for us and it will bring back wonderful memories of time I spent with her. 

I love you, Mom! I miss you each and every day. You were taken from us way too soon and I wish you were still here. I hope that I can be as amazing of a mother to my children and you were to us. I will never forget you and each day I will honor you!!! 

I love you my beautiful guardian Angel!!!