To be honest I have really been struggling as to whether or not I wanted to post this, but I knew it would make me feel better.
Over the last 5 1/2 years that I have been blogging I have talked about my relationship with my family but I have barely discussed my relationship with my in-laws.
Let me start by saying that I love them, I truly do but sometimes I feel that I have to continue to prove myself to them, especially my mother in law and my brother in law.
Kyle and I have not had an easy 6 years of marriage. Our first year was extremely difficult. We fought a lot, to the point where we almost got divorced. It was awful and I was of the mindset that our personal problems did not need to be aired to anyone in our families. However, he did not feel this way and talked in length to his Mom and brother (and eventually his brothers gf who is now his wife). I was uncomfortable with this because I felt that this tainted their perception of me and I was immediately the outcast. Thankfully he learned from this situation and does not discuss our personal issues anymore. His brother never understood why we got married as quickly as we did, he always questioned if Kyle had done the right thing.
I did my best to fit in and feel as though I belonged. Once his brother got engaged and eventually married (I didn't even get included in the family section of their wedding site) everything changed again. I think my sister-in-law is great but I have never had a close relationship with her, for me it has always been an uncomfortable feeling because she knows some of our issues from the past. My brother in law does not understand why we run or why we announce pregnancies early, he always has an opinion about something and it's frustrating.
Now that my in-laws have their first grandchild I feel that our journey to become parents is not important to them. I have stopped telling my mother-in-law what is going on with treatments because it does not seem to matter to her.
Over the last few years Kyle and I have grown so much as people and in our relationship. Our relationship is the best it has ever been, he is my rock and I don't know what I would do without him. I just wish that my relationship with my in-laws wasn't so difficult. I love them but I just don't feel that it is reciprocated.
I hope that we can fix this and get better. Fingers crossed.