To be honest I have really been struggling as to whether or not I wanted to post this, but I knew it would make me feel better.
Over
the last 5 1/2 years that I have been blogging I have talked about my
relationship with my family but I have barely discussed my relationship
with my in-laws.
Let
me start by saying that I love them, I truly do but sometimes I feel
that I have to continue to prove myself to them, especially my mother in
law and my brother in law.
Kyle
and I have not had an easy 6 years of marriage. Our first year was
extremely difficult. We fought a lot, to the point where we almost got
divorced. It was awful and I was of the mindset that our personal
problems did not need to be aired to anyone in our families. However, he
did not feel this way and talked in length to his Mom and brother
(and eventually his brothers gf who is now his wife). I was
uncomfortable with this because I felt that this tainted their
perception of me and I was immediately the outcast. Thankfully he
learned from this situation and does not discuss our personal issues
anymore. His brother never understood why we got married as quickly as
we did, he always questioned if Kyle had done the right thing.
I
did my best to fit in and feel as though I belonged. Once his brother
got engaged and eventually married (I didn't even get included in the
family section of their wedding site) everything changed again. I think
my sister-in-law is great but I have never had a close relationship with
her, for me it has always been an uncomfortable feeling because she
knows some of our issues from the past. My brother in law does not
understand why we run or why we announce pregnancies early, he always
has an opinion about something and it's frustrating.
Now
that my in-laws have their first grandchild I feel that our journey to
become parents is not important to them. I have stopped telling my
mother-in-law what is going on with treatments because it does not seem
to matter to her.
Over
the last few years Kyle and I have grown so much as people and in our
relationship. Our relationship is the best it has ever been, he is my
rock and I don't know what I would do without him. I just wish that my
relationship with my in-laws wasn't so difficult. I love them but I just
don't feel that it is reciprocated.
I hope that we can fix this and get better. Fingers crossed.
