7 years......7 years of not having my Mom on this earth. Tomorrow marks 7 years since my beautiful Mom lost her battle with cancer. Some days it feels like it just happened yesterday and others it feels so long ago. I remember getting that phone call so early in the morning and hearing the words I dreaded hearing for 10 months. I had just seen her 2 days prior and I was alone in North Carolina. Kyle was away training and I was lost. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt.
I wonder everyday how things would be different if she were still here. I think about how proud she would be of my niece Kylie, she was only 4 when my Mom passed away but they were so close. I think about how much she would love my nephew, Grayson, and his silly personality. My sister was pregnant with him when she died. Then, I think about how thrilled she would be that we were finally blessed with E.
I think about all of the memories we could have made as a family and then I find myself getting angry because she was taken from us far too soon. It doesn't matter how long it has been because I still see or experience something and go to call her, only to realize I can't. I'm sad that I don't have her here anymore. I'm sad that my daughter will never know her grandma but I will tell E about her so that she knows her in that way. Grief is such a weird thing to deal with, the pain never truly goes away you just learn to cope.
I know that she would be proud of all of us and all that we have accomplished. I know that she would be so happy for my Dad that he is finally retired and living his life the way he wants to.
I will continue to honor her in everything I do and be thankful for all of the memories I have of her. I will continue to try and make her proud.
So I say to all of you, hold your loved ones tight. Tell them you love them and be thankful for the time, however long or short.
I miss you everyday, Mom. I love you.